To be single or not to be single....that is the question

So I have been with my boyfriend for just under 10 years. For as long as we have been together most of my friends have said hes weighing me down and I can do a lot better without him. Basically I mommy him. We have broken up a few times and he always seems to get his shit together when we are apart but then soon as we get back together he falls back into the same bullshit, drinking to much etc. I have just been off work for a few months to get off a serious pill addiction and have been making a serious effort to gain a successful life. He says he wants the same things but in my heart I think we are on borrowed time. Sometimes I wish he would just end it so I don't have to. I feel that I owe him in some way cause he took care of me while I wasn't working. Its not like we didn't make the decision together for me to take time off to get myself better and said he was happy to help me get my life together. BUT when he drinks he gets silly drunk and lays a shit ton of guilt on me cause HE had to take care of me. and then low and behold as soon as I started working he gets fired. Then he finds another job and gets fired from that job. He also takes my pills that I use for anxiety and sleeping. On paper he sucks as a boyfriend but he also his my best friend we can laugh and talk about anything but there is no intimacy we haven't had sex in months last year we did it twice. I attempted to have sex with him last night for the first time but he pulled the whole I have a stomach ache routine. Once again I feel ugly and rejected something I just told him that happens when he does this. Basically we are one bedroom roomates. I love him and I still feel in love with him but I feel that in love part dwindling away. I want someone to want me physically and mentally. I know there is no perfect relationship and I'm afraid of being single but I already feel alone and lonely. Why bother with this relationship that seems to be failing anyway????